My wonderful friend Tara, a free spirit and always pursues what she loves and what feels right, something many are afraid to change but Tara since young age she knows life is more than a routine but happiness is hard to find, she never wishes to settle for the second best so she creates her life with colours and filled with love.
I met Tara in mid 20’s when I was at Anya Hindmarch, our friendship grew stronger after I left the UK as I was doing something I loved and Tara was a true fashion entrepreneur, she sat up a luxury pre-owned store chic and seek at her late twenties, her brand was supported by us all, I definitely shopped and offered her my beloved luxury items to sell. Everyone loved Tara’s business, she had a great store with beautiful interior set up in Notting Hill, perfect spot for perfect clientele, she did all this alone with very few help. Just when everything was going so well, Tara felt the universe was calling for something else. She literally closed everything and moved to the US and started her spiritual journey.
We kept in touch, we met irregularly here and there, mostly at her beautiful cosy villa in Ibiza. She’s one very few friends that my whole family adore. Tara started teaching yoga and launched her business in grief coaching which then really helped me through my father’s passing and she launched this course called Cafe Conscious which also kept my strong mind stronger to understand that wanting to being a mother and a family life instead of choosing to be career woman is not a failure. I just love how Tara always live the way she feels and not following the norm or rules, we only live once, happiness and health should rule instead of anything else, this is definitely something I share deeply with Tara.
Below is from my interview with Tara, read her beautifully answered questions. Our interview is also from my IGTV – link here.
KF: Please share your journey and how you were a female fashion entrepreneur then become this amazing spiritual coach and practice kundalini yoga?
Tara: I guess it’s quite a long story, but I’ll make it brief. I always felt like I wanted to do something to do with helping people, but I was young and I didn’t know what that was. After graduating with a degree in Sociology, I fell into fashion and it felt like the perfect escapism…. I spent a lot of time avoiding from my pain when I was younger.
It was actually around the time I started Chic&Seek that I began having therapy and really started to deal with my childhood trauma. In a way Chic&Seek was the beginning of my grief journey. I emulated my Mother by starting the business and towards the end started to question if I really wanted to be stressed, rushed and busy all the time for something I wasn’t passionate about?
My Mother died from Breast Cancer when she was 57 years old.
Everything started to feel out of alignment and I decided to take a three month sabbatical in New York. During that time I realised I hadn’t set foot in any clothes shops or read a single glossy magazine. I went on a spiritual journey in New York city of all places! Visiting temples, attending a Hay House workshops, which introduced me to the likes of Gabrielle Bernstein and Chris Karr, I was doing lots of Jivamukti Yoga, I quit drinking and really started to get fascinated about the Coaching and Self- Development industry. It was at the end of that time in NY I went to LA and found out about the Spiritual Psychology Masters Degree at the University of Santa Monica.
After graduating with the Spiritual Psychology Masters I went to India and did a Hatha Vinyasa teacher training in Goa, and later back in LA I was introduced to Kundalini Yoga through a mutual fashion friend of ours Caroline Legrand. We completed the teacher training in July 2019 with the most amazing teacher Sat Siri in the urban jungle of Hollywood – another unlikely place for zen spiritual development! I’ll probably find something in Vegas next!
KF: Personally I loved joining your Cafe Conscious group, it felt like an emotional detox each week! Please share more about this project, what does this group offer people?
Tara: Café Conscious has been evolving in my mind since 2013! My word, that’s rather an embarrassingly long time. Initially I saw it as a physical café, but having had the bricks and mortar fashion shop in London, I wanted to keep life simple and flexible!
I have always loved groups and been fascinated by the learnings and communities that they create.
Currently Café Conscious is an 11 week program introducing skills to cope with life. I have taken inspiration from Yoga, Spiritual Psychology, Grief work, 12 Step programs, the Alpha Course and my own life experiences.
I think you said it really well, it is like a weekly mini detox! It’s an education, but the real power is the emotional dump each person in the group gets to express. Sharing from a heart centered and authentic space detoxes us and knowing you are in a safe environment with no judgement allows everyone to express themselves in a way that you don’t normally get to do in day-to-day life.
I really believe we are all teachers for one another, so listening to each person gives us a tremendous amount of healing at the same time.
KF: When/ How did you realise healing power of grief?
Tara: In all the therapy I had over the years, not one coach or therapist ever said, ‘I think you are grieving.’ In my second year of studying my Masters in Spiritual Psychology I decided to base my thesis on death and grieving. What appears to be quite a depressing topic lit me up like a flame!
I was reading a lot of books and exploring a subject so deep and rich, it was incredibly rewarding for me. I thought, my god, of course I’ve had all these symptoms my entire life, I have been grieving and I didn’t even realise or understand it!!
Since a young age I have been fascinated by death, the afterlife, the purpose of my existence and wanting to talk about it, but never really knowing many people that were too interested to explore such subjects. Now I have great communities of friends who love this kind of conversation. But don’t worry, I still love surface level life as well. What shoes are you wearing right now?
KF: I can’t comprehend how difficult it must have been losing both your parents by the time you reached the age of 21. How has this impacted you and what strength have you gained through this awful pain?
Tara: My parent’s deaths have influenced me a lot. My Father died suddenly of a Heart Attack, he was 42 years old and I was 9. My Mother was widowed with three daughters to look after and she threw herself into work and a new relationship very quickly.
My Mother then got Breast Cancer and I cannot help wonder, if she had given herself the space to grieve whether she could have kept the cancer at bay. I wonder about my Father and his stress levels. We will never know, but I try and learn from those situations and choose differently for myself.
Sometimes I think it’s our fate, when our time is up, our time is up!
But I strongly believe that negative emotions, trauma, abuse, if this is not processed and released, it manifests in the body as toxins which cause illness or breakdowns.
Due to the early deaths of my parents, I have always been acutely aware of how short life can be. If I am not happy in a situation, I am not afraid to change it.
KF: Now you are being more spiritual and health conscious, do you still like fashion and fancy lifestyle? What makes you spend the most nowadays?
Tara: I still have a huge appreciation for design, beauty and quality, but it’s a relief not to have to dress up, put make-up on every day and wear heels! That said, I have kept a lot of heel’s that I never wear now, but I still love them!
I got really tired of people checking your watch, your bag, your shoes. It’s like urgh, come on, can we just cut past all this crap. I want to connect with people because of a genuine connection, not a, oh we’re in the same tribe because of the labels you dress in.
I actually bought a fake red Chanel handbag in Ibiza last month which has ‘Fake As Fuck’ written over it. I paid 100 Euro’s for it, so I was about as ripped off as buying a genuine Chanel, but I thought that was hilarious and it’s a great red. I think the ‘it’ bags have had their day and this was making a mockery of it.
I like to spend on experiences and in the past 5 years I have invested a lot in trainings and I will continue to do that. The next one I am doing is Teachings Prenatal & Postnatal. This course is a call to all women who care deeply about birthing sacredly, the birthing of ourselves and of our children. I am very excited to start this weekend and it is with the same teacher who trained me as a Kundalini Yoga Instructor.
KF: Please share your ritual of a busy week
Tara: I am currently teaching 4 Kundalini Yoga Classes, leading two Grief Groups and 2 Café Conscious Groups. I have been asked to teach within a corporate company and I have 2 private coaching clients. All my work is now being done through Zoom which I actually love and think it makes life very efficient. No more driving, tubing, parking and wasting precious time on travel. I probably still spend way too much time chatting to friends on the phone, some things never change! I am now living with my sister so getting to spend lots of precious time with my amazing nieces.
KF: A piece of advice for someone who feels lost.
Tara: I would say that if you feel lost you most likely don’t feel connected to yourself or the world around you. I would suggest exploring different Yoga classes, find a teacher you feel connected to. Maybe sign up to something like my Café Conscious group or Grief Group and learn more about navigating life. I think we can learn so much from deeply listening to one another which is why I love the group dynamic. If that feels a little too scary, begin some one-to-one therapy or coaching. Just remember, you do not need to do this alone! A problem shared is a problem halved.
Follow Tara on her instagram and website to check out her courses and classes for your soul healing journey.
Enjoy my stories, please follow my instagram as best support – @kfyangoconnor, for collaboration, please feel free to email via contact.
中文：
我的好朋友塔拉（Tara），自由奔放的人，總是追求自己喜歡的東西和感覺正確的東西，很多人都不敢改變，但塔拉（Tara）從小就知道生活不只是例行公事，而幸福卻很難找到，她從不會為了安頓而選擇次優，因為生命只有次！她以自己的快樂為主創造了自己的生活。
我20年代中期在安雅（Anya Hindmarch）遇到了塔拉（Tara），在我做自己喜歡的事情離開英國後，我們的友誼變得更加牢固，塔拉（Tara）當時二十多歲，是一位的時裝創業家，她開了一家時尚的二手店，她的店得到了我們所有人的支持，我也成為她的常客並向她出售了我心愛的奢侈品。每個人都喜歡塔拉（Tara）的生意，她在諾丁山（Notting Hill）擁有一家精美的飾店，這是完美客戶的理想場所，她獨自一人完成這一切，幾乎沒有幫助。就在一切進展順利的時候，塔拉感覺到宇宙在呼喚別的東西。她關閉了一切，然後搬到了美國，開始了她的精神之旅。
我們保持聯繫，我們在這里和那裡不定期見面，主要是在伊比沙島她美麗的舒適別墅裡。她是我全家都很喜歡的幾個朋友。塔拉（Tara）開始教瑜伽，並在悲傷的教練中開展業務，這確實為我度過了父親的過世提供了幫助。她開設了關於”有意識咖啡館”的課程，這也使我堅強的頭腦更加堅強，以了解想要成為母親和家庭生活而不是選擇成為職業女性並不是失敗。
以下是我對塔拉的採訪，請閱讀她回答得很漂亮的問題。我們的採訪也來自我的IGTV
KF：請分享您的旅程，您是如何成為女性時尚創業家的，然後成為這位了不起的精神教練並練習昆達里尼瑜伽？
塔拉：我想這是一個很長的故事，但我會簡短地講。我一直覺得自己想做些與幫助他人有關的事情，但是我還很年輕，不知道那是什麼。在獲得了社會學學位後，我陷入了時尚，感覺就像是完美的逃避現實……。我花了很多時間避免自己小時候的痛苦。
實際上，大約在我開始Chic＆Seek的時候，我就開始接受治療，並真正開始應對我的童年創傷。從某種意義上說，Chic＆Seek是我悲傷之旅的開始。我通過開辦公司來模仿我的母親，直到最後我開始懷疑我是否真的一直想因為自己不熱衷的事情而感到壓力，奔忙和忙碌？
我母親57歲時死於乳腺癌。一切開始變得不協調，我決定在紐約放假三個月。在那段時間裡，我意識到自己沒有涉足任何服裝店，也沒有讀過任何有光澤的雜誌。我在紐約各地進行了一次精神之旅！參觀寺廟，參加干草屋講習班，向我介紹了加布里埃爾·伯恩斯坦（Gabrielle Bernstein）和克里斯·卡爾（Chris Karr）等人，我做了很多吉瓦穆克蒂瑜伽（Jivamukti Yoga），我戒酒，真正開始對教練和自我發展行業著迷。那時是在紐約結束時，我去了洛杉磯，在聖塔莫尼卡大學發現了精神心理學碩士學位。
在獲得精神心理學大師的文憑後，我去了印度，在果阿進行了Hatha Vinyasa老師培訓，後來回到洛杉磯，通過我們的Caroline Legrand的共同時尚朋友向我介紹了Kundalini Yoga。我們於2019年7月完成了在好萊塢城市叢林中最出色的老師Sat Siri的師資培訓-禪宗精神發展的另一個不太可能的地方！接下來，我可能會在拉斯維加斯找到一些東西！
ＫＦ：我個人很喜歡加入您的Cafe Conscious小組，感覺就像每週一次的情緒排毒！請分享有關此項目的更多信息，該小組向人們提供什麼？
ＴＡＲＡ：自2013年以來，CaféConscious一直在我腦海中發展！我的話，那真是令人尷尬的長時間。最初，我將其視為一家實體咖啡店，但在倫敦開設實體店後，我想讓生活變得簡單而靈活！
我一直熱愛團體，並為他們創造的學習和社區而著迷。
目前，CaféConscious是一個為期11週的課程，介紹應對生活的技能。我從瑜伽，精神心理學，悲傷工作，12步程序，Alpha課程和我自己的生活經驗中獲得了啟發。
我想您說的很好，就像每週一次的迷你排毒！這是一種教育，但真正的力量是團隊中每個人都能表達的情感上的傾銷。以心臟為中心的真實空間中的分享使我們排毒，並且知道您處於安全的環境中而沒有任何判斷力，每個人都可以用您平常在日常生活中無法做的方式來表達自己。
我真的相信我們都是彼此的老師，所以傾聽每個人的意見可以使我們同時獲得極大的康復。
KF：您何時/如何實現悲傷的治愈能力？
塔拉：多年來我進行的所有療法中，沒有一個教練或治療師曾說過：“我認為你很傷心。”在學習精神心理學碩士的第二年，我決定將論文以死亡和傷心為基礎。似乎很令人沮喪的話題使我如火如荼！
我讀了很多書，並且探索了一個如此深刻而豐富的主題，這對我來說是無比的收穫。我想，天哪，我一生中都會經歷過所有這些症狀，我一直在悲傷中，甚至沒有意識到或理解！
從很小的時候起，我就對死亡，來世，生存的目的著迷，並想談論它，但是卻從來沒有真正認識到很多對探索這些主題感興趣的人。現在，我有很多喜歡這種對話的朋友社區。但請放心，我仍然也喜歡表面水平的生活。您現在穿什麼鞋？
KF：我無法理解到21歲時失去雙親的困難程度有多大，這對您有何影響？通過這種可怕的痛苦，您獲得了什麼力量？
TARA: 我父母的去世對我影響很大。我父親因心髒病突發而去世，享年42歲，我9歲。母親喪偶，有三個女兒照顧她，她很快就投入工作並建立了新的關係。
然後我的母親得了乳腺癌，我不禁要問，她是否給自己留下了空間，讓她感到悲傷，是否可以阻止癌症。我想知道我的父親和他的壓力水平。我們永遠不會知道，但我會嘗試從這些情況中學習，並為自己選擇不同的方式。 有時我認為這是我們的命運，當我們的時間到了，我們的時間到了！
但我堅信，負面情緒，創傷，虐待，如果不加以處理和釋放，會在體內表現為導致疾病或崩潰的毒素。由於我父母的早逝，我一直敏銳地意識到人生的短暫。如果我在某種情況下不開心，我不怕改變它。
KF：現在您對精神和健康意識越來越強，您仍然喜歡時尚和時尚的生活方式嗎？是什麼讓您如今花費最多？
Tara: 我仍然對設計，美觀和品質深有感激，但是不必每天打扮，每天化妝和穿高跟鞋，這是一種放鬆！就是說，我保留了很多腳跟，這些腳跟我從沒穿過，但我仍然愛著它們！
我真的厭倦了人們檢查您的手錶，皮包和鞋子。就像敦促，來吧，我們能不能克服所有這些廢話。我想與人建立聯繫是出於真正的聯繫，而不是因為您穿著的標籤，哦，我們屬於同一部落。
我上個月實際上在伊比沙島買了一個假的香奈兒紅色手提包，上面寫著“假貨”。我花了100歐元買了它，所以就和買到正宗的香奈兒（Chanel）差不多了，但是我認為那很可笑，而且是紅色的。我認為“ it”包過得很愉快，這簡直是在嘲笑它。
我喜歡花經驗，在過去的5年中，我在培訓上投入了大量資金，並且我將繼續這樣做。我正在做的下一個是產前和產後教學。該課程旨在呼籲所有深切關心分娩，自己和孩子的分娩的婦女。我很高興能在這個週末開始比賽，是和同一位老師一起訓練我成為昆達利尼瑜伽教練的老師.
KF: 請分享您忙碌一周的禮節.
Tara: 我目前正在教4屆昆達里尼瑜伽課，帶領著兩個悲傷小組和兩個咖啡館意識小組。我被要求在一家公司任教，我有兩個私人教練客戶。現在，我所有的工作都通過Zoom來完成，我實際上很喜歡並且認為它使生活變得非常高效。沒有更多的駕駛，油管，停車和浪費寶貴的旅行時間。我可能仍然會花很多時間在電話上與朋友聊天，有些事情永遠不會改變！我現在和姐姐住在一起，所以花很多寶貴的時間陪伴我的侄女。
KF: 給那些迷失的人的忠告。
Tara: 我想說的是，如果您迷失了自己，很可能就不會感到自己與周圍世界的聯繫。我建議您探索不同的瑜伽課，找一個您覺得有聯繫的老師。也許註冊成為我的CaféConscious小組或Grief小組之類的人，並了解更多有關生活的信息。我認為我們可以通過互相傾聽而學到很多東西，這就是為什麼我喜歡動態的小組。如果感覺有點太可怕了，請開始一些一對一的治療或指導。請記住，您不需要單獨執行此操作！共享的問題減半。
Kuofi O'Connor 